Savoring Every Moment .... Living in Today....

There are many blessings in my life. My three children and a husband who is (for now) actually stepping up to the plate and is actively here for me. But.. with that we have other junk in our life.

1. T was officially diagnosed with ADHD earlier this month. P wanted to avoid medication. I finally urged him to agree that we couldn't wait any longer. I'm now waiting to see what the school will do and what medication the pediatrician recommends.

2. We are blessed that P has an awesome job that is stable despite the economy. Unfortunately we need overtime to make ends meet and that doesn't happen all the time. Ugh.. we are going to credit counseling this week. I am selling AVON and also babysitting a toddler to help out financially. The AVON will pick up it takes time though.. and the babysitting is well.. inconsistent and the little boy is more aggressive than any child I have ever dealt with. My kids are afraid of him and that's not how I want to earn money. But, if I were to "let him go" I would feel like a failure.. so I soldier on.

3. Another option that P and I feel would be beneficial for our finances would be for him to do a tour "in the sandbox" for a year. The pay would be great because of the sign-on bonus, hazard pay, and overtime. But.. that is still in the works. It takes time and I'm not a patient woman. The idea of him being gone for a year is frightening. However, I'm sure I could do it (run the household) on my own for a year. Why? Because when he threatened to leave I did a mental evaluation and reminded myself that I am strong enough to do anything I set my mind to.

4. L has had a few setbacks in life and I have been on top of them. But.. there is a point when too much information is not good for your mental health. After an appointment today with a genetics specialist we now know that he's normal and healthy but doesn't fit in the mold of "normal" for the medical community.. but in the end he does not have anything huge that can hold him back. This leads us to a final decision .. do we leave the pediatrician that allows a question on P's part to lead to referrals to specialists and invasive testing? or do I just grow a new set of kahonas. I betting it's the new pediatrician. Ugh..

Ok.. I'm done venting I just wanted to get this down on "paper".

The more things change the more they stay the same. As we enter 2009 I am so blessed to have a loving family who is healthy (well on the mend) and yet I wonder if my husband and I will be together to celebrate entering 2010. I really hope we are.. the days leading to today were a lot better than today. I don't know what set us off .. but it wasn't an awful day .. just a day that tested us.

If you asked me in 2000 how I expected to celebrate the beginning of 2009.. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't expect a lot of things as they are:
-I'm a mother (in fact .. I've got three beautiful living angels).. 2000 was not a year that allowed me to believe I would be a mother
-I'm living in Alabama.. nope.. I was just getting used to Virginia in 2000 and was sure that if anything we would go back to Florida or Texas.. never Alabama
-I'm drinking hot tea without sugar or cream and it's become a new favorite beverage (not beating the beloved breve.. but still)
-I weigh less than 160 pounds.. Even after fighting like crazy to lose weight in 2000 I was never able to get lower than 240 .. it took gastric bypass to get me here.. and by gosh I want to stay here

How do I expect to see things to be as I welcome in 2019?
-My baby will be ten years old!
-I will have a college degree
-T will have an acceptance letter from his college of choice
-Our family will have traveled
- overseas
- out west.. Seattle, Colorado, Alaska..
-We will not have debt hanging over our heads
-I'll be arguing with R about her outfit for the evening instead of helping her button her pants after a run to the potty
-I'll still be under 160 pounds
-I'll have made a positive influence somewhere outside of my home

I've always had the worst luck on holidays, birthdays, and vacations. I have a 90% chance of getting sick. It seems to have come true for L and I this winter break (R is dealing with a small cold but it hasn't slowed her down). L was diagnosed with RSV and a double ear infection the day after Christmas. It was the third day I had spent arguing with myself over whether or not he needed immediate medical attention. I felt like a horse's arse for not getting him in sooner but the doctor said he was doing ok and I had been doing everything right. So until tomorrow's recheck we are home with antibiotics, steroids, and a nebulizer. I don't want to let him out of my sight in case he stops breathing. Needless to say everything else around the house has been pretty well ignored.

Christmas was good other than the sickness. The kids ended up with a lot more than I expected thanks to generous family members. They were tickled pink with everything they got. T even got a surprise present of losing his first tooth during/after Christmas dinner.

Things feel strained between P and I. I don't know what to do because this time feels like a test that I'm doomed to fail. I hate failing and if I'm going to fail no matter what I want to end things now. I don't know how else to tell him this. He seems to be trying now but his idea of trying is well lacking for me and I'm sure he thinks the same of my attempts to try. This time my heart isn't into trying I don't want it to be broken again. I want to get through winter break and get back into our normal and see if we can manage to be kind and loving during that time. It might happen.. right?

P and I are at it again. What is there to say at this point other than I am fighting to keep my family intact. I'm doing it for my babies. But, I can't do it forever and I'm learning that I can't sacrifice myself for someone who isn't willing to compromise. I hope things will get better. I pray that I can find a way to get us back on the right track. I'm praying more for the wisdom to know how to proceed in working to get things on track and knowing when to let go.

My to do list has very few things marked off. However, if you think I was propped up doing nothing yesterday afternoon you would be wrong.

T got off the bus at 310 and we did the mad dash to get out the door for karate at 345. We were late again! Ugh. While T was in the first part of karate I went to the bank to deposit a paycheck and ran through the drive-thru at the local coffee shop. I normally love this place but yesterday was horrible. I ordered a small version of my drink (breve one splenda) and the kids drinks (steamed chocolate milk). I expected to pay $4.50 and was charged $7.00. My drink was correct but the kids were way off. I shrugged off the error because they are local and I didn't recognize this guy (Maybe he was new). After karate when the kids tasted their drinks I was ready to(and should have) take the kids through the drive-thru and let them tell the guy how he royally screwed up their precious drinks (they tasted too much like coffee). Instead I listened to the whining all evening. Because we had more places to go..

We hit Wally World for a leotard so that R could wear the tutu I made her. The leotard I bought was too big (she wears 4/5 clothes most of the time) and the tutu that fits with the clothes on doesn't fit with just a leotard. Ballet was fun even with the tutu falling off. T found a friend to play with and now wants to go to ballet every Tuesday. I found a friend to talk to and she was oohing and ahhing over L which is always awesome.

We arrived home at 7pm with enough time for me to make dinner (leftovers anyone) and help T unload the dishwasher. By the time dinner was over and I checked my e-mail one last time I was exhausted. My rear-end was in R's trundle by 9pm. (I'm sleeping with her in her room to encourage her to stay there all night long.. we're giving her a week.)

Today the dishwasher is running and most of the "other" dishes have been washed by hand. I need to get up (quietly.. L is sleeping) and lay L down and get back to work. I'll update later. tata!

I need to get myself in gear for Thanksgiving dinner which is in 44 hours. I'm not counting down or anything.

Cleaning to do list:
Playroom:
- pick up toys (in progress)
- vacuum

Bathrooms
- scrub toilets
- clean sinks and showers
- mop floors

Office
- declutter
- vacuum

kids rooms
- pick up
- vacuum
- make beds

kitchen
- empty/load dishwasher (lather, rinse, repeat)
- wipe down counters
- sweep
- mop
- take out recycling

(are you ready to cry with me yet?)

Thanksgiving dinner Prep
I have already planned the menu, made the pie shells (they are chilling in the fridge, made roll dough (currently rising), and started thawing the turkey.

I need to:
- make the pie fillings and bake the pies
- make the green bean casserole
- sweet potato casserole
- mash potatoes
- make sausage balls and slice cheese for snacks
- make cranberry sauce
- bake rolls
- prepare stuffing
- cook turkey
- make gravy


oh and I have to call the furniture place and get my last two chairs (the chairs will be here at lunch time). I want a nap already.

This year is going to be an especially personalized year with homemade gifts. I'm so excited to make the gifts instead of buying something they may or may not like. By doing a bit of research each gift will be personalized for the recipient. I'm planning to make tutus for the girls in my family (if this works out well I may try to sell a few at the ballet school). For the teachers, bus driver, and neighbors I'm planning to make baked goodies or something of that nature. L is going to get a blanket from me and T make get a blanket as well. When I was talking to my sister yesterday she mentioned that she is making denim purses for her girls and my daughter R.

I'm hoping to save some money on the gifts by making them at home. Spending a lot of money on the holidays this year is not really an option. Hopefully, the personalized gifts will be a hit with everyone.

This post was inspired by the Parent Bloggers Network and sponsored by Klutz. Check out this special offer from Klutz - free shipping and a free copy of the award-winning Activity Book (a $14.95 value) when you order $50+ via this link. Just click it!

Now all I have to do is budget my time to finish these projects. Here is a tutu that I made with a stuffed model.

Thanksgiving for the last ten years has almost always included a long car trip and always Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's house. This year I'm finally hosting Thanksgiving at my house. My in-laws will be coming to join us for the festivities. I'm guessing there will be approximately 15 people at Thanksgiving dinner and 22 for dessert. I'm super excited and need to start a grocery list.

Parent Bloggers Network asked bloggers to share their experiences with homemade Thanksgiving dinners. I'm thinking of lessons learned from previous Thanksgivings.

1 - Never allow the men folk to cook the Turkey. The refuse to follow, err .. read, the directions. The fire alarm will go off, the wrapping will be melted to the turkey, and you will enjoy a great pizza with the stuffing.

2- If you are new to the family and trying to impress my grandmother.. do not leave lumps in the mashed potatoes. Not a single one. This cousin's wife is no longer in the family.. I wonder if that's why.

3- Don't talk to my mother too much or too little.. there will be drama if you forget this rule.

4- Remember that Thanksgiving is about being Thankful not the other ten thousand dramas in your life.

I thought there was more.. but apparently I have blacked it all out!

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by Butterball.

This one is a couple of weeks old and taken on my digital camera.. but it was available for me to try youtube.

L is 11 weeks in this video and he's taking the opportunity to show off his dimples and voice.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People

1. "Chew with your mouth closed!"
2. "Can you please stop talking about your status?"
3. "I stopped talking to you because I can't understand your stupidity"
4. "Have more faith in who you are"
5. "You made your life what it is!"
6. "I'm proud of you"
7. "Stop acting like Mom"
8. "Why do you wring your hands? It hurts your heart.. literally"
9. "Thank you"
10. "Are southern manners really that bad?"

Nine Things about Myself....

1. I have a fast temper
2. I dreamed of running a home for children (still do sometimes) when I was 12
3. I have a fear of being hurt by organized religion
4. I am an only child .. yet I have six siblings that I know of.. and have only met 3 of them
5. My first job was at Toys R Us
6. I can read a novel in a day.. well when there are no kids around
7. I have nursed babies for 2 1/5 years of my life.. so far
8. The national anthem makes me cry
9. I go to the doctor more now than I did before my gastric bypass

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1. LISTEN to me
2. Love my babies and spend time with them
3. Wash the dishes after dinner without me asking
4. Hold me
5. Help me find the positives on my down days
6. Dream with me
7. Buy me an espresso machine
8. Tell me you love me

Seven Things that Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. What are my kids up to?
2. Why does P like to escape into the computer?
3. How can I save more money?
4. Should I get a job?
5. I really need to get a degree!
6. I should clean the bathrooms!!
7. I love my babies.. I'd even have more...


Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Check the doors
2. Turn off the lights
3. Carry dishes to the kitchen
4. check on my babies
5. Take off my glasses/brush teeth/wash face
6. roll on my belly


Five People Who Mean a Lot:

P, T, R, L, my sister


Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now:
1. 3/4 sleeve sweater shirt (baby blue)
2. Jeans
3. nursing bra
4. L!



Three Songs I Listen to Often:
1. Brothers in Arms by Dire straits
2. I'm Already There by Lonestar
3. Because of You by Reba McIntyre and Kelly Clarkson


Two Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

1. Watch my children become productive members of society

2. Travel the world


One Confession:
I LOVED New Kids on the Block.. not sure I really like them now

With news of the 20% drop in the stock market over the last seven sessions, I'm glad to know we are a bit prepared.

We've
*cut back on eating out
*cut back on Lattes not made at home
*shopped based on sales and made decisions on meals from what is in the pantry
*utilized tips for savvy shopping from Becentsable.net
*Pulled P's retirement out of the stock market and into Government Bonds (He wisely did that in April)
*questioned ourselves about whether we need it or just want it?
*Started teaching T & R more about respecting money

However, We still need to eat out less and getting our debt paid off. I also need to get serious about selling our "inherited treasures" on craigslist.

Last night we drove by a gas station to see unleaded was $3.51 and P said, "Wow, that's not bad!". How ironic? It was ten years ago that I could fill up our gas tank for $10.00 and now it's closer to $40 in the car and $80 in the van.

The end of September came with smiles from the cuddliest boys. The cuddliest girl welcomed the last day of September with a smile.

Before:


After:

.. sorry just realized the camera was shaky. I will try to take another picture tomorrow.


My neighbor inspired me to get started on giving my house color. I've been dragging my feet on spending the money. However, we were at Lowe's Thursday and we found the "mistinted" paint selection to be very close to a color I wanted in my living room/dining room. I jumped on the 5 gallon bucket for $25. I also scored two single gallons for my bedroom for $3 each. I splurged on my bedroom and purchased some glaze 19.99 and I'm going to try to use it to make a stripe effect (I hope).

So, Yesterday I painted with the help of my neighbor and her son. I have to say the change in color looks awesome. It could definitely use a second coat.. however the new color is already refreshing when you walk into the house.

(Please note that this is the room that has no furniture or pictures on the wall yet. That's why all the clutter (beloved as it is) is on the fireplace mantle.

This is my first post for the The Parent Bloggers Network and I may be able to win a $250 visa gift card just for writing about my children's eccentric views on fashion. Thankfully the theme describes my current state of life right now Mix 'n Match, Pop 'n Swap.

So.. I'm now the mom to three children and I love it. The absolute BEST part is where I'm stuck to the chair barking commands fussing at the children (startling the relaxed baby) or worse trying not to say anything because the baby JUST fell asleep. Somehow, L has decided that the best time to nurse is when I need to be up guiding T through his morning routine (checking outfit, confirming teeth are brushed, and trying to shove food in his mouth). Lately T has walked into my bedroom only to be sent back upstairs to change immediately. Imagine if you will.. A beige polo shirt with brown horizontal stripes, nylon blue jogging pants with a vertical light blue stripe up the side of each leg, AND black and red airators. There is also the need to keep a sign of brushing his teeth on his shoulder EVERY day and if the socks aren't matched, he'll wear whatever is closest to his fingers.

Then I get the princess an hour or so later. We begin with "take of your jammies and pull-up" (repeated 20 times at increasing levels of my voice) and then we get to "get an outfit and some undies". Our first attempt at an outfit is bringing me baby clothes that can't fit her and a demand for an outfit just like that one in her current size, next is an attempt to wear winter clothing on a day forecasted to be 95 degrees, the third attempt when I just want her to go outside and play lands me a yellow t-shirt with primary colored writing on it and a pastel floral skirt. Her other favored fashion faux paus include: dresses that are too short but Mommy doesn't notice until we are at the pediatricians office, princess dresses covered in alabama red clay, food stains on the BRAND NEW shirt, and shorts that are too short but still fall off her waist. There are days that I just close my eyes and remember she believes she is beautiful and those are the days I wish we had a Pop 'n Swap Polly Pocket to teach her a bit more about fashion. :)

At least no one notices that L is wearing the same onsie he had on yesterday. Hey.. he did have a bath before I put it on him.

Yes, most days I catch the blunders and adjust them as best I can by removing one article and adding any denim bottom to the child (T has never stepped out of the house in a skirt.. yet). This gives me the feeling that all is right with the world and I remind myself to buy more denim next time I go to the mall.

I expect to be in the market for a convertible carseat in the next six months. T and R were both in the convertible carseat by 9 months due to long legs.  Hopefully my current Combi Shuttle infant carseat will be better than my previous graco and this won't be a problem. 

This morning is going at a slow pace. It's partially due to my lack of energy (come on coffee .. start working.. PLEASE) and L's need to be held. I managed to make breakfast and empty the dishwasher with him in my arms. Now I'm slacking on the computer while L sleeps in my arms (notice the theme). I swear I'll put him down in a few minutes and finish the kitchen, pick up the trash and clutter, and pack for our stay at the sleep clinic tonight. Oh, it's going to be soo much fun. I'll try to update here once I know more about L's sleep study. Say a prayer for us tonight. 

My friend, DJ, is married by now. :) Yaa! She deserves to be very happy.

So, here are some pictures from the last few weeks.. (be warned the photographers are myself and a 3yo princess..)

There is a common theme around these parts; Heather is a MORON! I went to a PTA meeting that is scheduled for tomorrow. Unfortunately instead of just looking like an dofus to the office staff I searched out the PTA president . I'm an idiot.. no wonder the PTA has sweetly offered to "let" me take it easy this year. UGH!

Friday I decided that I needed to go to Wally World to stock up on food staples. I didn't make it out as planned Friday night without the children. Instead, I decided to feed them and hit the store before lunch. We sailed through the store pretty well and I purchased 98% of the items on my grocery list. This is the grocery list that I left in the van and decided that I didn't want to haul three children across the parking lot and pass the charity of the week again.

So we are doing well. L sleeps through the whole shopping trip even though I am trying to fit all of my purchases around his carseat that does not latch on to the buggy like my old infant carrier did (I still LOVE this one more). T and R are helping out and are not begging me for too much. T even sees a little girl knock over the individual packets of yeast and offers to help her clean it up. He continued to clean it up when she stepped over him and didn't pick a single packet up. (I was soo proud of him that I couldn't go off on the mother or child without taking the positive off him. OH THEY WERE SOO LUCKY!)

So we made our acquisitions and headed to the checkout area where the registers manned by cashiers are looking like 20 minute waits. I see a self checkout lane that doesn't have an item limit on it and head over there. I'm 25% done with checking out when L wakes up screaming to be picked up and fed immediately. There are other customers standing behind me. R is trying to scan everything for me but does not bag the items so the computer gets cranky. I order T to talk to L while I finish up. I'm almost done and L is whimpering when I want to lay down on the floor next to his carseat (why can't you ever fit the bags in as small a space as the unbagged groceries) and throw a temper-tantrum. I couldn't find either of the cards that I knew had funds available on them. So, I stop the roving cashier and ask her to suspend my transaction and she gives me dirty looks as I try to get my bag, my baby, and everything together. "Ma'am, I can't let you leave with the buggy." I know that I was just trying to get everything together and praying that I could find the card before I had to go out the van with a screaming baby and two kids who didn't understand why they had to leave their purchases in the store.

Soo, I get out to the van and put the sling on, take L out of the carseat and latch him on (gahh..why do they take so long when they are in the sling?), and then find my cards. The kids and I race back into the store where we claim our buggy and pay for our groceries. Then we race back across the blistering hot parking lot while R cries that she is thirsty. The poor girl didn't know how bad this Mommy wanted to cry with her.

We went through the drive-thru of Wendy's and T was asleep before we drove away. He woke up long enough to drink his soda and fell back asleep. R stayed awake and chatted with me the whole way home. Thank goodness that was a stock up trip and I won't have to go back for a long while. Maybe next time I'll know better and not bring ALL three kids with me.